


On top of all this, when we go back to our Horde accounts, we have to listen true blue Horde sixties going all sissy on us and claiming the Horde aren’t even the bad guys, we’re ‘just misunderstood’ or some crap. These fruitcakes claim that the ‘Forsaken’ aren’t evil per se, and are often mistakenly associated with the ‘bad guy undead’ you fight in Scholomance or UD Strat. Let’s take a look, shall we?
According to lore (copied with light editing from http://www.worldofwconline.com):
This renegade group of Undead managed to break free of the tyrannical rule of the Lich King and now seek to retain their free will while destroying all who oppose them. Now known as the Forsaken they are dedicated to follow their new leader, the Dark Lady Sylvanas Windrunner. The Forsaken have established a secret stronghold beneath the ruins of Lordaeron in the Tirisfal Glades, the Undercity.
Sylvanas’ goal is to develop a new plague to not only get rid of the Scourge, but to wipe out the rest of humanity as well. To speed up the process the Forsaken have entered an alliance with the brutish and primitive races of the Horde.
Hmmmm… Developing biological Super-Plagues to wipe out humanity, and destroy all who oppose them? A penchant for eating their dead victims to regain health? Let’s have ‘em over to meet the folks next Tuesday, hon!
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Froederick here has sworn a lifelong allegiance to the Horde after the orc warchief lent him a buck fifty for Cheetos. |
Trolls?
The vicious Jungle Trolls are known for their cruelty and hatred against all other races. One tribe however, the Darkspear tribe, was forced to work together with the warchief Thrall and his Horde of Orcs to save themselves from a band of Murlocs. From that point the Darkspear tribe swore an oath of eternal allegiance to the Horde.
Fighting murlocs, huh? That’s funny, last time I checked, I didn’t see any murlocs over level 15 or so in-game… maybe 20 if you count that last boss in Wailing Caverns.
They even hate the Forsaken, too…
As part of the Horde the Trolls have gained a trust in the mighty Tauren, but they have a hard time accepting the Forsaken into their alliance.

Maybe that’s where the Trolls got this whole silly “Jamacian thing” from. I can’t imagine why the neighborhood stoners would be on the ‘bad guy’ side…. Oh, wait… that’s right:
The leader of the Tauren, the ancient chief Cairne Bloodhoof, allied with the Orcs during the third war because the Orcs helped them drive back the Tauren’s enemies, the Centaurs. Just like the Orcs, the Tauren want to retain their history as a noble race.
…they swore an allegiance for driving back the level 13 centaurs found wandering around in the barrens. Verog has been summoned? Oh shit, call Thrall!
And finally: our pals, the Orcs…
The savage, green-skinned Orcs are commonly believed to be brutal with no sign of humanity. They were born in the world of Draenor, and brought into the kingdom of Stormwind through the dimensional gateway known as the Dark Portal. They were forced to wage war on the Humans and they have been involved in all of the three wars, a common enemy of the Alliance.
The Orcs were once a noble race with a cultivated shamanistic society in Draenor. What made them so reckless was the corruption of the Burning Legion who forced them to invade Azeroth. However, the Orcs managed to rebel against their former masters and are now led by the young warchief Thrall, who has helped the Orcs regain their former strength and honor.
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Being the boss means never having to say you're sorry |
Pretty soon we’re going to be getting Day Elves. This opens the door for anyone who rolled Alliance in the first place because they were the ‘pretty’ race to feel right at home on the Horde side of the fence. Great. I could do a detailed analysis, but at this point I think I’m just upsetting my ulcer. What’s next? Giving both sides shamans and paladins, effectively making rolling one side or the other pointle---
Next week: Fed up with World of Whybothercraft, I test drive “My Little Pony Online Adventures”! I roll a Chaotic Palomino Barbarian, and go LFG in the ‘Pretty Pony Grooming Grounds’! See you then!

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