Tuesday, December 5, 2006

You just got Owned, Level 1 style!

Your build sucks, your interface sucks, the macros you write are stupid, and I would totally own you in a duel. I bet you'd just love to know who my main is, but I won’t even give you the pleasure of knowing. I don’t post on my main, because people like you would probably send me tells in game and otherwise harass me.

I doubt we even play on the same server together, but I bet you’d roll on ‘my’ server just the same. Create a character, log in, skip the intro, and add my main to your friends list; just so you could see when I log in and make pitiful attempts to ridicule me on my own home turf. Well too bad, buddy. Just suck it up, because it isn’t going to happen. I’m too smart for you, and plus I’m totally better at this game as well.

I love how you were asking in the Rogue forums about a good dagger to use with the hemorrage talent, LOL. Stupid Rogue. Everyone (including my main) knows that hemo builds are only good for slow swords or maces. It’s too bad you didn’t ask which fast fist weapon would be good, because then I could have really pwned you hard. My main isn’t even a Rogue, but everyone (except you, apparently LOL) knows that.

Then this other noob on some level 20 orc avatar is asking where to respec his talents. LOL, maybe in your main city, dumbo! Right next to the battlemaster, DUH! How you could even be level 20 and not know where the battlemasters are is just ridiculous. What have you been doing all this time? Questing? LOL u fukin carebear! Maybe you should roll on an RP server where you can pretend to care about Mankirk’s Wife ROFL. I had respecced twice by the time my main was 17… I had accidentally put a point into Impr--- wait! Not so fast! Ha Ha! I’m not revealing my identity that easily! I won’t even tell you what class I am or you’d probably start sending tells to every one of my fellow classmates trying to discover who I am!

Besides, the last thing I’d ever want in-game is a tell from someone with a name as stupid as yours… I’m not even going to spell it out here because it’s so LAME! My main’ s name is tastefully cool. Hardcore, but not ‘borderline gay’ / ‘trying too hard’… you know? It’s a fine line, but I walk it. Yeah, this alt is named “hjdshaskl” but that’s only because I was in such a rush to make this toon and totally own someone on the forums. I almost accidentally posted something on my main that first time, but thank god I hit the ‘preview thread’ button instead of the post one. I saw my main’s name hanging out there in the breeze and almost had a heart attack. That’s not a problem anymore, since I switched my forum avatar to this Level One Alt, and haven’t switched back since. I would have gone back and edited in something different if I had actually posted something on my main, but like I said… I had only hit ‘preview’. I still had time to make this guy as soon as I could to totally flame your stupid idea for a ‘new mage talent idea’. God! What do you think you are? Clever? Insightful? …A dev? Newflash! You’re none of these things, you're just STUPID, and (now) Totally Owned by a Level 1 Alt.

After reading your (stupid) mage talent idea, I ran a search for other posts by you, and read up on even more of your retarded ideas. Swapping trinkets out in battle? I was rolling on the floor with milk shooting out my nose in two white jet streams when I read that one. Can you spell ‘imba’? LOL, good luck there buddy, I’ll keep that thread open and refreshed in another window so when Blue craps all over you I can be the first to ROFL @ your sorry ass. What was another one…? Oh! Drinking in combat… OMG… here’s a little WoW history lesson for you: that used to be in the game, and they took it out. Here’s an idea: next time search Google before you submit another one of your stupid threads, or better yet, just don’t bother. I heard Alt+F4 is the keyboard shortcut to start a new thread in the forums LOLOLOL

Anyway, I got to go eat dinner, my Mo—girlfriend is calling me. She cooks and cleans for me, because she knows I work hard all day long on my main dragging my loser guild thru Naxx. It’s tough work, and my main can’t afford to be bothered during one of these runs. It’s a good thing no one knows who that is, thanks to my trusty Level One Alt!

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