Tuesday, January 9, 2007

I QUIT!!! (I mean, wait! i was wrong! help! I <3 u!)

Maybe you've been there. Maybe you've only threatened to go there in emo posts on the WoW boards. Maybe it wasn't even WoW, but I think you'll understand where I'm coming from on this one. MMOs have this amazing ability to tear us between wanting to spend every waking moment in them and never wanting to see them again. I guess they’re kind of like girls, but they never ask you to empty the cat litter. Hmm… I can see the Blizz devs reading this post, and suddenly having new ideas for questlines. I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead. In fact, I’ll quit the game altogether! Yeah! Screw this game! To make sure it’s final, I’ll even disenchant all my epics, vendor anything that won’t DE, and give all my gold away to make sure there’s no coming back!

That was me, not too long ago. I had one level 60, my warrior, and I had grown so sick of the game that I felt I needed drastic measures to finalize the process of ‘leaving’. My little guild fell apart, and got swallowed by one of the server’s “big ones”. I had an influential place in the old guild, but now I was just an undergeared no-name grunt compared to the MTs in the new guild. I had a job, which apprently meant I wasn’t ‘dedicated’ to the guild, and I couldn’t raid on their schedules even when I could raid since I lived in Japan. I needed to stop this crap, once and for all.

That lasted a good week or two. During that time I played every free demo for any game I could get my hands on, and I even bought a few console games. I went so far as to re-install CounterStrike for Christ’s Sake.

I hate CounterStrike.

Eventually, I came to accept that WoW was the only game out there worth playing. It was the only game that interested me, anyway. FPSes are tired. I can only shoot someone with an announcer screaming HEAD SHOT! in my face so many times. Any time I would load up a counterstrike map, I’d see custom WAVs be the only thing loading, and just cringe. Fuckotherservers.mp3 YOUJUSTGOTOWND.wav takeitbitch.wav cornholio.mp3


I wanted my warrior back. I missed Isobelle.

Sooo! I put my CC info back in. I log in. I’m standing in OGR with a Simple Black Dress, a Blue Sparkler in my offhand, and a Green Skeletal Horse in my (solitary) backpack. Hmm. Time to open a GM ticket.

Here’s a tip, if you ever find yourself in this situation: NEVER admit that you did what you did willingly. As much as Blizzard wants you back on the smack, they can’t just give you all of your loots back. They could, but then you’d just quit again in a day or two. No, the best strategy for them is to make you re-earn it all again over the course of 3 months, and then let you quit again, and let the "Circle of Life" continue. My first ticket foolishly admitted that I DE’ed everything, and I was pretty much told ‘go eat a weiner. too bad, so sad’.

Another ticket was immmediately opened. Same deal. I began to ask around for people in similar situations, and I found that if your account was hacked, or it wasn’t you that did it, your chances were much more likely to be considered.

Suddenly, an imaginary little brother I never had appeared beside me, and the answer became clear! He had foolishly created those (lying) first tickets after I threatened him with physical violence! This could work… hmmm… Blizzard's fan base is supposedly 99% comprised of Night Elf rolling Emo Teen Spoiled Brats (myself and my friends obviously comprising the other 1% of mature and totally cool Horde), so I put my Hat of +3 Roleplaying and set out on a mission...

This was promptly responded to. Well, okay, it took forever... but I was determined.
*I've used the magic of photoshop to differentiate my chat from theirs.

I don't think I sounded desparate enough, so then I really began to pour
it on for the next ticket:

It's only a shame that these are the conversations I decided to screenshot. The ones before these were pretty uneventful, but once I decided they weren't going to restore anything, I started telling them I hated them, and asking them to die in fires. I never once recieved any warnings or anything, and, in fact, seemed to make more progress just being an outright dick. At one point, when they supposedly restored my Heroism Set, I recieved 2 Belts of Heroism in the mail. It was icing on the cake.

End Result: They restored anything that couldn’t be raided for on my own. Things like my Breastplate of the Chromatic Flight and Balckhand’s Breadth can only be recieved by doing quests. Once the quest is done, it can’t be repeated. Thus, it was restored. Things like my Brutality Blade or ‘Tier 2 Hat’ are static drops, and can be replaced by playing.

Raiding in all greens was an interesting experience, but the Big Guild had crapped itself apart, and my old guild had come back together again. We picked up the pieces, and I began to get my drops again. On my first raid back I ninjared a Breastplate of Might, much to the dismay of warriors that had foolishly attempted to take my place in the spotlight. Within a few weeks, I was back to where I was, and maybe even a step or two above.

Last week I swore I’d stop playing this game again, but now I know better. I’ve emptied out my mailboxes so nothing bounces; but my bags and bank are happily stocked full of blue and purple pixels, and will be awaiting my triumphant return in a week or two.

Yeah. Neverwinter Nights 2 isn’t WoW, and the EQ2 demo?


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