Friday, August 1, 2008

"Operation Immortality"

So, yeah. That Garriott guy that made Tabula Rasa apparently didn’t get the ‘ur game failed’ memo, and is going off on some brand new tangent to try and drum up new subscribers. I think that's him on the right. One is the loneliest number, so I could see how being the only person playing an MMO you created could wear you down.

Apparently, if you subscribe to Tabula Rasa now you can have some DNA (?) shot off into space or something. While it might be neat if your DNA was found by aliens, cloned into some mutated superhuman army, and sent back to Earth to colonize the planet for… ok wait, this actually sounds pretty rad.

However! There are a few things horribly wrong with the implementation. Apparently you can’t bite off your finger and have them send that into space, it’ll just be some dumb ‘DNA Sequence’ file on a flash drive or some crap. While I hope our alien friends are advanced enough to have evolved to the USB 1.1 specification (lol 12Mbits/sec ), what happens if their laptop hard drives are some new, ohidunnoALIEN, file system? Maybe they’ll load our DNA sequences in their alien version of WinAmp, and the sound shooting forth might be some horrendous battle cry. Even worse, what if it’s a mating call, and they all come to Earth expecting surprise alien buttsecks?

There are so many things wrong with the idea it’s just silly. The website takes another turn for the worse when they start soliciting ideas for ‘Mankind’s Greatest Achievements’ and then it asks you what your favorite movie is.

I guess that’s better than ‘Which was your favorite episode of Friends’?

You go, Richard Garriot. Just… you go girl.

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