Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Only Healing Macro You'll Ever Need.

Hint: You use it between pulls. In a pinch, it can also be used for tanks.

When pissy DPS start asking for meters, especially after a wipe, break this one out.

Immediately follow it up with "/raid OH GEE LOOK... LOOKS LIKE I DON'T CARE. LIKE, AT ALL."

Bonus points are given if you have 1st thru 4th place with the names of actual shitty DPS who always ask for meters (and hence, 'care a lot about them') filled in... but in a PUG, Billie and Scooter work fine, too.

Le Code:

Icon: Spell_Holy_Silence (the "SHHHH" finger over the mouth)

/raid Recount - Caring Done for Overall Caring
/raid 1. Billie 2104161 (2043.2, 18.0%)
/raid 2. Freddy 1728345 (1723.8, 14.3%)
/raid 3. Scooter 145263 (1295.1, 11.2%)
/raid 4. Elmo 2156 (23.7, 1.8%)
/raid 5. Ixobelle 0 (0.0, 0%)



Klepsacovic said...

Is the care cup less than half full or more than half empty?

B.J. said...

That is absolutely fantastic.

Some GMs and officers (the kind I tend to stay away from) would see that as a lack of trying, though, which is silly. I can't express how much I hate meters for anything, DPS included, but healing meters bug me even more.

I used to have a Resto Shaman in my guild (the GM at that) who based healing performance SOLELY on meters. So we would consistently wipe on certain encounters because while a certain Paladin and said Resto Shaman could really pump out some numbers, they did not understand WHEN to do so.

Rich said...

a timeless classic, that gets reposted in the forums every so often:

Hatch said...

This macro was a big hit with my guild in our Naxx 25 pug :)

Anonymous said...

*joyful gasp*

This is absolutely made of win.

I hate DPS meters so much.

Rich said...

i would pay money for an addon that just crapped all over recount and SWStats, etc... just spewing out random information to their little hidden channels, and rendered their output useless.

I could run it secretly from my account, and just not tell anyone. Eventually, others would pick up on it, and people would flip out during runs... WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THE SCRAMBLER, GTFO PLX.


Bell said...

This is hilarious.

Though, I would hate the scrambler >< I use Recount to check for problems and fixes, so running a scrambler would totally screw over when I'm trying to figure out what went wrong.