Sunday, May 3, 2009

I Hate Everyone...

...but there's a special place in my heart for people that refuse to fully unwrap shit they buy. This whole thing started way back when stuff would get scratched during shipping and the manufacturer would wrap sensitive areas in protective film, but

1) the film was usually like blue, or would have the words REMOVE BEFORE USE written across it.

2) it's totally unnecessary now, as advances in shipping and packaging technology have kind of rendered the practice obsolete.

But now it's become some vague greyish white wrap, which confuses the idiots of the world, and people refuse to unwrap their fucking ipods for fear they may get fingerprints on the oh-i-don't-know touch screens.

They spend 200 dollars on a new cel phone, shopping around for the one that's the most かわいい, and then leave some piece of shit saran wrap on the screen that was never supposed to be on there in the first place.

I see it out in public on things like copy machines all the time. I even see people that have a hard time seeing what's written on the stupid buttons because there's some piece of crap covering the text.


And then when I step forward and peel the shit off, it's met with gasps and horror that I would violate a piece of electronics in such a fashion. That I would peel off its protective sheath and expose it to the cruel world.

1) they aren't condoms.

2) THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ON THERE ANYWAY.

God, this just makes me so fucking crazy. So I warn you now, in advance. Should we ever meet face to face, and should I ever notice any piece of shit wrapper still on anything you own, I won't ask for permission, and I won't warn you ahead of time. I'll just rip that shit off like a scab and throw it on the ground. Then for good measure I may throw your stupid ipod on the ground along with it, step on it, and laugh.

I hate you.

Die in a fire.

<3

14 comments:

Gonzales said...

Brilliant!

Klepsacovic said...

Last I saw my dad still had the plastic on his phone. I don't get it. What are they afraid of, scratches? Scratches happen and really, they don't look that bad. But old plastic which is also scratched, and has dirt stuck tot he sticky parts, and is peeling... that looks far worse.

Silkworm said...

Lol Ixo, here in my country (Turkey) some people used to leave those nylon covers on their new cars for a long while. I don't see it any more that was some twenty years ago. And yes I hate those covers and the poeple who leave them on.

Maniac said...

omg Ixobelle you are so right! My mum keeps the wrapping on her TV remote, it's been so heavily used that you can't even see the remote buttons properly under the cheap plastic wrappping. I tried to explain the stupiditiy of it to her without being offensive, but it just didn't work. Should I just rip it off without her knowing next time I am round?

Ixobelle said...

i just don't understand what they're saving it for... like, one day you'll be able to take the wrapper off and enjoy the product as it's supposed to be, but when? the day you throw it away?

awesome, good luck with that.

like i said, I just don't ask anymore. I just see something like that and peel the shit off. it's even better when they freak out and try to stick it back, and it's even worse than before. they eventually give up and are forced to use the product in its intended form. oh, the humanity.

Bonedead said...

I actually bought a new phone Friday and the lady told me not to take them off because if I didn't like it after a couple weeks I could return it for something else. Would they take it back without them? Probably, but who knows. I took them off though.

Kyir said...

My iPod is so beat up that it looks even more badass than ever.

It's like I carried it through a war zone and back while blocking incoming bullets with its amazing durability.

HP said...

LOL, I do the same thing as you and just take everything off. It's the same concept as plastic wrapping all your furniture I feel...

Pierre said...

Spot on, ixo.

Rhii said...

Sometimes they're sneaky with those buggers though... I found a piece of sticky clear plastic on the back cover of my new cell phone the other day... it'd been there for a week and I didn't even see it until it started to get dirt stuck under the edges. YUCK.

Geoffrey said...

OK, but. . . "Die in a fire?"

Come on.

Blue said...

Yes, it irritates me too, but I don't think to the extent that it bothers you. I have been known to peel it off of various eletronics, though no one has responded with gasps of horror.

HolyGhost said...

I peeled that factory protective film off my IPOD just to buy a Protective film for the screen that I just peeled the factory protective film off of.

Genius.

Which actually half ass saved it from taking a deep claw scraw from my dog when he deciding to use it for traction.

Cap'n John said...

How did I miss this one?

I have a friend who works for a high end A/V store, and he said the factory settings of almost all hi-def TVs make it look its best on a show room floor, but those same settings aren't necessarily right for your living room. This is why you either need to know what you're doing if you plan to set your TV up yourself, or get it professionally installed by guys who know what they're doing.

Now this friend also had a friend who thought the TVs at my friend's store were too expensive (my friend did work at a high end store), so instead of buying from my friend the buddy bought his new TV from the local Discount King.

When my friend visited his buddy he saw the TV was sitting in the corner of his apartment's living room, which was really too small for a big screen TV but guys are guys and bigger is better, right? ;) The buddy, knowing my friend knows TVs, asks him to check it out because the picture wasn't as sharp as the floor model in The Discount King's store.

My friend looks at the TV and sure enough it still has the plastic film across the screen (either The Discount King doesn't do Installations, or the buddy was too cheap to spring for one), so my friend grabs one corner of the film and just rips it off and his buddy starts freaking out.

He quickly settled down when he saw how clear the picture was without the plastic in the way :D