I really don't 'get' the PTR.
Actually no, wait... let me take that back.
Let's start over.
I think I'm the only person in WoW that 'gets' the PTR.
Why do I log in and see people LFM Gruul's Lair, or LF1M tank Heroic HoL Daily? Um, people. This isn't live WoW. It's the frigging test realm. Where you can try new things that aren't in the game yet. I'm already pretty sick of Naxx on live, so no, I really don't want to come tank it for you here on the PTR. Are these people brain damaged?
Speaking of idiots not understanding the test realm, what's up Blizz? Why is my tank fully loaded with 8 billion gems, 450 jewelcrafting, 3 full sets of gear (tank, dps, pvp), and then stuck with nothing but attack power enchant scrolls? I have 5x Berserker Weapon enchants, 5x +10 stats to chest, 3x resilience shoulder and head enchants, and a stack of Haste to Cloak scrolls. Leg enchants? Why, 5x Leg Armors of 75 Attack power and +crit, every tank's dream! Why give me 450 Jewelcrafting, and enough Dragon's Eyes to make a zillion Jewelcrafter exclusive gems (limit: 3 fancy gems on at once), but no Enchanting, not a single abyss crystal to enchant something with a piece of stamina, no Inscription, nor a single Peacebloom to mill and make a tanking glyph?
Oh, wait! I get it! Ha Ha! None of the tanking classes want to tank on live, so let's make it an uphill struggle for them to tank on the PTR, too. That will teach them to not want to tank. I filled every gem slot I could with +def gems, in full Tier Zillion, and barely managed to hit 541. I was at 28k HP. GG. With all this 'uber gear' I was actually worse off than my tank on live, that's run naxx 10 twice. There's tier 9 you can buy near the coliseum, but apparently there's no set bonuses, and without those, they're pretty minor upgrades. I'm serious. Plus I put my one (pvp) meta gem in the helm already, and there's no one to transmute new ones that isn't putting them on the AH for LOLOL 99999 GOLD?
Whatever. Apparently, there's not a whole lot to even tank anyway, as the Argent Whatever Event isn't up yet, and joining a raid for the 'For the Horde' Achievement (ON THE PTR) is pretty low on my list of priorities. Then I realized that VOA has a new boss! Oh hey! Here we go!
First of all, I get grilled on why I rolled a premade, instead of bringing my 'real tank' over. Then I get quizzed on who my main is, on what realm and in which guild? Um, seriously? You do realize that I could just pull ANY name out of a hat, because it's the PTR and we aren't actually ON our toons, right? Then I finally get in a group, and the DK OT is like 'I hope you faggots all know the fight already'... because it's the PTR and we've had him on farm for months? I'm like 'this is my first time in here, what do I do' and he just /sighs, runs in, grabs aggro, and proceeds to stand in a fire until he dies, then rage quits.
Did I mention the PTR part yet?
So I go thru about 8 different ten man groups, and over the course of them, I begin to piece together a strat.
***SPOILERS INCOMING?*** (lol, as if anyone cares... people read strats or watch videos before the content is even released)
Here's my basic understanding of the fight, that evolved over time.
1) He does a spinning AoE fire breath thing, that from what I see, just needs to be healed through.
2) He casts Meteor Fist, which then proceeds to kill Izobelle.
3) He cleaves.
4) He drops fire on the ground, a la Magmadar.
At first, I thought the Meteor Fist ("MF" from here on) was interruptable (has a cast time), or that it needs to be split among the tanks. Turns out I was half right. It isn't interruptable. Looking at the debuffs (after I died, and it was just the other tank taking it), it turns out Meteor Fist is a debuff that 'splits damage with another target withing 10 yards'. So it's like the Lynx Boss (or bear) in Zul'Aman. You need to have the tanks stack on each other the whole time (or at least for MF). I'm not sure if it will automatically choose the 'next closest target' to the tank, or if it will randomly gib a rogue... see, it's the PTR, and while I was trying to figure shit like this out, other people were posting DPS charts and rage quitting because their underwear were getting all bunched up or whatever.
So I pieced this all together over the course of a whole evening, and the best attempt I had had him down to 50%.
Anyway, back to the fight.
It turns out (and again, this is just my observances), it's not anything that really requires taunting, or shifting aggro like I inititally thought. Just one tank takes a beating, while moving out of fire (and keeping HIM out of the fire, too... it puts a stacking buff on him that increases damage 5% per stack), and when MF is cast, both tanks need to take it (while melee *might* need to run out, a la Lightning Nova, not sure... that's if it chooses the second target randomly out of anyone within ten yards), then just continue to DPS the whole time.
There's no adds to deal with, and nothing spectacular other than moving while keeping the tanks stacked. In theory, it's a coordinated tanking movement intensive fight. That's pretty much the gist of it.
Now let's look back and c wut I did ther. Over the course of about 8 PUGs that fell apart because people are stupid and insecure, there was Izobelle, tanking a new boss, checking debuffs and combat logs after each wipe, and OMG FUCKING TESTING! Not running RFC. Not posting bullshit in the AH for LOLOLOL 7999 GOLD HAHA. Certainly not running for the instance exit like a fucking moron when a wipe was underway, and certainly not ragequitting when we didn't one shot the new boss that nobody had quite figured out yet.
I'm proud of myself for not instantly going to whatever.com and looking up strats, and for putting up with as much bullshit as I did. If I actually had a group of ten likeminded indivuals, I think we could have maybe got him down.
But then I get back to Dalaran, and what do I see?
PTR PVP GUILD FORMING. YOUR MAIN WILL BE ARMORIED. NO PREMADE TOONS. WE RUN AB/EOTS/WSG. NO SCRUBS ALLOWED.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I really don't 'get' the PTR.