Sunday, August 29, 2010

Enjoy Your Baby, NOW STOP MAKING BABIES


I've had my hands full recently. My wife has been horrendously pregnant, and Roy is freshly two years old as of yesterday. Konami was due on 9/13, but decided to make an early appearance. I don't do 'lemme tell ya all about my family' posts, because they're mostly boring, but this one has an interesting twist. It's also your big chance to get all the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-starts out of your system. I know they're coming, get it over with. We chose the name because gaijin apparently can't pronounce Hibiki (?), and while we really liked Tsunami as an uncommonly cool runner-up name, we don't hate our children, and didn't want to make teasing them easy on the other kids. It'd be like naming your kid Tornado. A nice compromise was Konami (小波), Ko meaning 'little' and Nami meaning 'wave'. Bonus points for it being an actual name in Japanese.

Konami decided to pop out 3 weeks early, and we had decided early on to have cesarean, since that's how Roy was delivered after 62 hours of labor. She wasn't due until 9/13, but we were in the hospital at 1am on Monday the 23rd prepping for surgery.

Blah Blah Blah, this is where posts get boring, when people delve into all the stupid details that no one in the immediate family cares about.

The funny blogworthy part was when I went to CVS to pick up the prescriptions. I had thought my wife was getting some basic vitamins and painkillers and crap, but lo and behold when I pick up the order, there were seven items in total in my little bag.


The left side of that picture is what I expected, but then there were two boxes of condoms, and a fancy "Next Choice" box that apparently has a colon over the I in Choice.

Closer inspection revealed that this was a box of "morning after" pills that had the country in such an uproar over a few years back. I guess while I was in Japan they won, and are now doled out like candy with any prescription?


I won't beat around the bush here; I've always come pretty clean here on the blog, and I'll go on the record as being 100% pro choice. There's a time to have kids. After being raped, or getting pregnant while poking around at sixteen figuring out how genitalia works are not the times. I'm not going to go off on a whole tangent here either, except to say that I found it odd to have morning after pills included with the prescription bundle that came home with our newborn.

I'm not sure what they're trying to get across here... "stop making babies, dipshit?" Konami wasn't an accident. We wanted two kids, and now have a two year old boy and a newborn girl. My wife and I are both thirty-somethings, and aren't grunting around sweatily in the backseat of mom's sedan at the drive in. Speaking of grunting and sweating...


"Rugby" condoms? I'm not the most versed in rugby play in general, and I guess I'm pretty boring in the sack; but when I think of rugby, I think of lots of kicking and clawing, concussions, and copious bleeding. Not "let's make a baby" (err... Let's Not Make a Baby). A quick google image search for 'gentle+condom' revealed the warm and friendly


We were warned by every nurse we saw during our four day stay in the hospital (while they ignored my wife and looked directly at me) that there should be NO SEX FOR AT LEAST SIX WEEKS following the cesarean. Like I couldn't wait to get home and start tearing it up, so to speak? The only thing missing in my little care package would have been a pair of cleats for better traction in the sack. But it's all good! After I was done plowing into my recovering wife, with sex so amazing it blew out my Rugby League endorsed condoms, we still have our.... Get Out of Jail Free card?

Ctrl-Z / Undo?

Save point?

...


(-_-;)


Hooray, Konami. Welcome to the world.




<3

21 comments:

Larísa said...

I don't think I've ever written this in a blog post or comment but sometime has to be the first, right?

Here we go:

Squeee!

OMG such a cutie. I have to look another way or I swear I'll get the baby flue.... It's been 16 years since I last time had one of that size but I can still remember the smell, the sound, the weight in my hands, the sensation of skin to skin.

I'd better stop rambling. Because all I really need to say is:

GRATS!

Ixobelle said...

I hope this explains why I was so minimally *there* during my stay overseeing the PPI in your absence. I haven't even had a chance to properly welcome you back. <3

Klepsacovic said...

I second the squee.

Larísa said...

No problem ixo! You can easily make it up for me. Guest posts are always welcome! (Nudge nudge)

Sephrenia said...

Broody, broody, broody.

Congratulations on the new arrival.

Flawlless said...

Tri-Squee!

Bojan said...

I had my second child 3 weeks ago...
Good work, Ixo XD

Stabs said...

Awww!

Congratulations and all the best!

Ysharros said...

She is ridiculously cute. You are responsible for turning people who read this post into puddles of unsightly goo.

Azryu said...

A beautiful name for a beautiful baby, congrats

Shamrockgirl said...

She is beautiful! Congrats to all of you!

Cap'n John said...

Sure your wife did the baking, but there's got to be partial credit for the guy who "stirred the pot", right? (Excuse the vulgarity.) Because damned if you two didn't make one hell of a fine looking baby. Congratulations to both you and your wife, and hope everyone is doing well.

laura said...

Garts on kid2!

And Thank You! for the Monday Morning giggle I had at this.

Jong said...

Hooray Konami!

That's a really cool name; I like it.

Sage said...

Ixo, if you're looking into birth control, you probably have google, but check out Planned Parenthood's stuff. They might have some stuff you never knew about (such as the the Nuva ring & even breastfeeding).
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control-4211.htm

Sage said...

Also, Ixo, what you've described with the weirdness with drugs is probably a pretty rare/isolated event. With all the anti-choice stuff going on, I'm surprised they gave you either. You probably just fell into one of the few areas in the US that might still do this.

Grats on the kid, by the way.

Tesh said...

Cute kid, Ixo! Congrats to all of you!

...makes me want to go home and hug my kids. Little ones are fun.

Ulfblud said...

Grats!

Silkworm said...

Beautiful. Ours is due in 4 weeks. And a very nice name. Life goes on. Roy can tank and Konami can heal :) and you will not need to be "LF tank/healer for Black Temple (Glaives Reserved)"

Khatib said...

Grats dude! Cute kid!

Way late here, but the last few times I've checked your blog, it's just been old WoW posts anyways. :P

And as far as the morning after pill relating to pro choice at all... if it's like the one in the states, it's not actually an "abortion pill." That's just something all the whack job right wingers went off on as something to crusade about. It doesn't abort anything. If the egg is already fertilized by the time you take it, you're screwed. It's basically just like a 10x dose of a normal daily contraceptive pill. It prevents eggs dropping out.

Yeah, we travel a lot for work, and we listen to old Loveline episodes with Adam Carolla and Dr Drew a lot on long road trips. Very entertaining, and even somewhat educational. ;)

timefortincan said...

Congratulations - it's been a while since my 3 year old was that small :)

Such small hands....

(I'll stop now - but congrats)