I've had my hands full recently. My wife has been horrendously pregnant, and Roy is freshly two years old as of yesterday. Konami was due on 9/13, but decided to make an early appearance. I don't do 'lemme tell ya all about my family' posts, because they're mostly boring, but this one has an interesting twist. It's also your big chance to get all the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-starts out of your system. I know they're coming, get it over with. We chose the name because gaijin apparently can't pronounce Hibiki (?), and while we really liked Tsunami as an uncommonly cool runner-up name, we don't hate our children, and didn't want to make teasing them easy on the other kids. It'd be like naming your kid Tornado. A nice compromise was Konami (小波), Ko meaning 'little' and Nami meaning 'wave'. Bonus points for it being an actual name in Japanese.
Konami decided to pop out 3 weeks early, and we had decided early on to have cesarean, since that's how Roy was delivered after 62 hours of labor. She wasn't due until 9/13, but we were in the hospital at 1am on Monday the 23rd prepping for surgery.
Blah Blah Blah, this is where posts get boring, when people delve into all the stupid details that no one in the immediate family cares about.
The funny blogworthy part was when I went to CVS to pick up the prescriptions. I had thought my wife was getting some basic vitamins and painkillers and crap, but lo and behold when I pick up the order, there were seven items in total in my little bag.
The left side of that picture is what I expected, but then there were two boxes of condoms, and a fancy "Next Choice" box that apparently has a colon over the I in Choice.
Closer inspection revealed that this was a box of "morning after" pills that had the country in such an uproar over a few years back. I guess while I was in Japan they won, and are now doled out like candy with any prescription?
I won't beat around the bush here; I've always come pretty clean here on the blog, and I'll go on the record as being 100% pro choice. There's a time to have kids. After being raped, or getting pregnant while poking around at sixteen figuring out how genitalia works are not the times. I'm not going to go off on a whole tangent here either, except to say that I found it odd to have morning after pills included with the prescription bundle that came home with our newborn.
I'm not sure what they're trying to get across here... "stop making babies, dipshit?" Konami wasn't an accident. We wanted two kids, and now have a two year old boy and a newborn girl. My wife and I are both thirty-somethings, and aren't grunting around sweatily in the backseat of mom's sedan at the drive in. Speaking of grunting and sweating...
"Rugby" condoms? I'm not the most versed in rugby play in general, and I guess I'm pretty boring in the sack; but when I think of rugby, I think of lots of kicking and clawing, concussions, and copious bleeding. Not "let's make a baby" (err... Let's Not Make a Baby). A quick google image search for 'gentle+condom' revealed the warm and friendly
We were warned by every nurse we saw during our four day stay in the hospital (while they ignored my wife and looked directly at me) that there should be NO SEX FOR AT LEAST SIX WEEKS following the cesarean. Like I couldn't wait to get home and start tearing it up, so to speak? The only thing missing in my little care package would have been a pair of cleats for better traction in the sack. But it's all good! After I was done plowing into my recovering wife, with sex so amazing it blew out my Rugby League endorsed condoms, we still have our.... Get Out of Jail Free card?
Ctrl-Z / Undo?
Hooray, Konami. Welcome to the world.